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Bruno's The Amazing Race
Eh, yeah. Too lazy to do write ups and stuff so. The Amazing Race 57 Teams *Baleia & Nissim - Brazilian jewish 13 year old boy with and a whale best friend. *Bruno & Chelsea - Nice boy from Brazil and popular bitchy girl from Michigan. *Chappy & Elizabeth - Old science teacher and old wife. *Gretchen & Tammy - Loud multi-talented brazilian hag who is vulgar without being sexy and lesbian or transgender daughter, I have no idea actually. *Ines & Monique - Another loud multi-talented brazilian hag who is vulgar without being sexy and daughter. *JJ & Rudy - Radio hosts who got that curry from their mamak. *Jynx & Nicki - Humanoid Pokémon and hip-hop singer with an enormous ass who look strangely similar. *Laina & Louis - Overly Attached Couple and her male version. *Lisa & Justice - Child-star turned Survivor castaway christian hag and brother. *Luke & Darth - Good young man and evil lord who happens to be his father. *Rochelle & Julius - Loud, sassy and strict wife and cheap husband with two jobs. Episodes and Locations *'Episode 1:' Luke, I Am Your Leader! - Nicki **Leg 1 - United States → Brazil *'Episode 2:' I'm Not Just A Pretty Face - Gretchen **Leg 2 - Brazil → South Korea *'Episode 3:' I Love a Long Baguette - Ines **Leg 3 - South Korea → France *'Episode 4:' I Got It From My Mamak - Rudy **Leg 4 - France → Guatemala *'Episode 5:' This Race Is Too Big For Me - Lisa **Leg 5 - Guatemala → Madagascar *'Episode 6:' I Will Slap You Into The Amazing Race 1! - Rochelle **Leg 6 - Madagascar → Thailand *'Episode 7:' I Don't Need To Do Any Roadblock, My Man Has Two Jobs! - Rochelle **Leg 7 - Thailand *'Episode 8:' Fui Pra Israel e Curti Demais - Nissim **Leg 8 - Thailand → Israel *'Episode 9:' It's All About Popularity - Chelsea **Leg 9 - Israel → Sweden *'Episode 10:' Thank God, Amen! - Ines **Leg 10 - Sweden → Australia *'Episode 11:' WEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO﻿ - Baleia **Leg 11/12 - Australia → Gabon → United States The Amazing Race 58 Note 1: Denise & Mike arrived 3rd at the pit-stop, but Mike died, automatically eliminating them from the race. Note 2: Dilma & Pascaline quit due to them winning the elections on their countries. Teams *Angelo & Quimberly - Gary Stu and Mary Sue from Sprink's stories. *Crystal & GC - Massive loud former olympic runner and stubborn guy who won't eat his rice. *Dilma & Pascaline - Brazilian president and Gabonese High Personal Representative of the Head of State whose brother is the president of Gabon. *Gary & Todd - Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges from Diff'rent Strokes. *Jessie & James - Team Rocket members who are really good with disguises but not good at being evil. *Katie & Sadie - Best female friends for life. *Mario & Luigi - Nintendo super star and somewhat ignored brother. *Mike & Denise - Morbidly obese guy who dies constantly and lunch lady who sucks at life. *Jacob & Julian - Obese teenager boy who loves asian girls and Hispanic teenager boy who hates New York and likes to advertise his fanfic. *Omastar & Lady - Pokémon and rapper who love to twerk. *Rachel & Sandra - Survivor winner g.oddess who can get loud too wtf and loud Big Brother winner/TAR finalist who enjoys tequila and dislikes fire. Episodes and Locations *'Episode 1:' What'chu talkin' 'bout Willis? - Gary **1 - United States → Mexico *'Episode 2:' I Can Get Loud Too, WTF? - Sandra **Leg 2 - Mexico → Panama *'Episode 3:' Don't Set Fires on the Big Brother House! - Rachel **Leg 3 - Panama → Chile *'Episode 4:' Hello, I'm JERealize - Julian **Leg 4 - Chile → China *'Episode 5:' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE - Katie/Sadie **Leg 5 - China → Japan *'Episode 6:' ASIAN GIRLS YAAAAAAASSSS SLAY G.ODDESSES KING COBRAS BLACK MAMBAS - Jacob **Leg 6 - Japan *'Episode 7:' Drink Yo' Tea With Cinnamon - Crystal **Leg 7 - Japan → Norway *'Episode 8:' You Can't Outrun Crystal Cox, Baby - Crystal **Leg 8 - Norway *'Episode 9:' Twerkin' In Da Coliseum - Lady **Leg 9 - Norway → Italy *'Episode 10:' Do You Have a Minute to Read Total Drama America? - Julian **Leg 10 - Italy → Turkey *'Episode 11:' Time to Leave On My TARDIS - Julian **Leg 11 - Turkey → Congo *'Episode 12:' Prepare for Trouble, and Make it Double - Jessie/James **Leg 12 - Congo → United States The Amazing Race 59 Note 1: Shulk & Villager originally arrived in 3rd place, but they were punished with a 4 hour penalty after Villager tried to murder Shrek & Fiona, thus dropping them to 8th. Note 2: Coke & Julie quit the race. Teams *Analapinquana & Troy - Fat ass big bitch and big dope dealer money. *Baylor & Dairy Queen - Country singer/Survivor contestant and fast food restaurant. *Bruce & Ella - Flirty voice actor and flirty princess-wannabe. *Coke & Julie - #StarbucksMochaScandal and #TrailMixScandal. *Frankie & Sean - Ariana Grande's brother and Ariana Grande's boyfriend. *Kate & Canberra - (kate) & (canberra). *Lanky & Tiny - HE and gorilla who can shrink. *Reggie & Beardo - Musician/comedian and human beatbox from Total Drama. *Shrek & Fiona - An ogre that is love, is life and princess-turned-ogre wife. *Shulk & Villagers - Boy who is really feeling it and cold serial-killer. *So & Doo - Asian sisters who were cut from Survivor. Episodes and Locations *'Episode 1:' This is a Sticky Situation - Baylor **1 - United States → Scotland ***The two roadblocks and no detour. ***Dairy Queen having to complete one of the roadblocks despite not being able to move, putting Baylor into a sticky situation. ***Bruce & Ella flirting with random citizens, and Ella stating that she found her true prince. ***Analapinquana getting into an argument with a taxi driver. ***So & Doo winning the first leg, thus winning two Express Passes (one for themselves and the other for another team of their choice). ***Frankie refusing to finish his part of the roadblock, stating "he's Ariana Grande's brother", thus eliminating him and Big Sean. *'Episode 2:' Soooooooong - Beardo **2 - Scotland → Germany ***So & Doo giving up a Express Pass for Baylor & Dairy Queen. ***Villager wanting to murder a slow taxi driver. ***Shulk & Villager dominating the Smash detour, putting them in first place. ***Kate refusing to do either the Smash or Trash detour. ***Shrek & Fiona dominating the Trash detour. ***Coke & Julie stealing plane food. ***Reggie & Beardo getting lost due to lack of communication, as they both spent the entire race beatboxing. *'Episode 3:' I'm Really Feeling It! - Shulk **3 - Germany → South Africa ***Analapinquana & Troy spending all their money in clubs, forcing Troy to get some coins by selling drugs. ***Analapinquana & Troy still being able to win due to Analapinquana domianting the Bouncy Ball roadblock. ***King K. Rool kidnapping Lanky & Tiny, with Donkey Kong later coming in and rescuing them. They still arrived in last place, but where saved by the NEL. *'Episode 4:' My Dairy Queen is Melting and Getting Everywhere - Baylor **4 - South Africa → Mozambique ***The detour and fast foward. ***Shrek & Fiona and Shulk & Villager fighting for the Fast Foward. ***Villager trying to murder Shrek & Fiona after they arrived first to the Fast Foward, giving them a 4 hour penalty for trying to murder someone. ***Baylor U-turning So & Doo, who gave them the Express Pass earlier, causing Dairy Queen to melt and go everywhere. *'Episode 5:' I Wanna Be That Girl on the Passenger's Seat - Baylor **5 - Mozambique ***Coke stealing a Starbucks Mocha from a local Starbucks. ***Shulk & Villager getting a 4 hour penalty because Villager launching a taxi driver away. ***Bruce & Ella flirting with flight attendants to get on an earlier flight. ***Baylor refusing to do the Racecar roadblock, because she doesn't want to drive and instead wants to be that girl on the passenger's seat, but due to Dairy Queen being unable to drive, they were eliminated. *'Episode 6:' #StarbucksMochaScandal - Coke **6 - Mozambique → Lithuania → Ukraine ***Analapinquana casually meeting up with Michael, one of her boy toys, and Troy getting into an argument with him. ***Analapinquana & Troy just dominating the entire leg and winning. ***Shulk trying to calm Villager down and not getting into any conflicts through the entire leg, because he didn't want to get another 4 hour penalty. ***After Coke & Julie were caught stealing plane food and a cappuccino mocha from Starbucks, they elected to quit the race. *'Episode 7:' This Is My Swamp - Shrek **7 - Ukraine ***The extremelly close leg, with everyone arriving within seconds of each other. ***Shrek's argument with Kate at the Pinsk Marshes' roadblock, causing him to scream "This is my swamp" at her while she just stood there blowing kisses to him. ***Analapinquana's #TARBreakdown after not being able to complete the roadblock. ***Lanky & Tiny overcoming the odds and, after departing in last place, being able to complete the detour before anyone else and winning the footrace against Shulk & Villager due to Lanky's ability to run while handstanding and Tiny's abilities to extend fly by rotating her ponytails, and winning the leg. ***Shulk & Villager being able to work well, until losing the footrace to the pit stop to Lanky & Tiny, causing Villager to have a #TARBreakdown. ***Kate and Canberra's #TARBreakdowns upon arriving in last place, just to be told that it was a non-elimination leg. *'Episode 8:' (kate) - Kate **8 - Ukraine → North Korea ***Ella flirting with Kim Jong-un, who then decided to take her over as a wife/hostage, forcing Bruce to flirt with the North Korea leader and convince him to free Ella. ***Villager plotting Kim Jon-un's murder while on North Korea. ***Analapinquana getting into an argument with a North Korean military, who took her and Troy as hostages. ***Kate and Canberra finally winning a leg, finally showing their true abilities as deities. ***Analapinquana convincing Kim Jong-un to let her twerk for him in exchange of her and Troy's freedom. Despite this, they still arrived in last place, but were surprised by another non-elimination leg. *'Episode 9:' I've got a big fat ass! - Analapinquana **9 - North Korea → India ***The second North Korea leg being cancelled after Kim Jong-un expelled everyone from the country. ***Lanky quickly completing the Circus roadblock because he has a funny face. ***Analapinquana & Troy being the only team to complete the Dance With a Snake task because the anaconda didn't want nona unless they got buns. ***Everyone getting stuck in traffic. ***Bruce & Ella flirting with Indian citizens to get past the traffic, causing them to arrive in first place. ***Villager almost running over several Indian citizens while driving to the pit stop. ***Analapinquana having a #TARBreakdown while in the middle of the traffic. They ended up arriving in last place.